is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
