you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
