yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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