Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
