No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
