ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am available for nakedness
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
