I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
