we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
