just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
