there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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