My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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