My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
