Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
