I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
