Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
