I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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