did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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