Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
