; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize