hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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