Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We have started to decorate penises.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
