Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize