It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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