I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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