i already hear my dad disowning me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
