I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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