You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize