yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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