Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
