Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
