my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
