I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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