Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
