I just pynch a tree in the face
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
