First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
