my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
