elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
