White coat. Heels.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You ruined the universe
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
