So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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