Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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