Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
