It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
