I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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