My friends, they love my intelligence
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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