Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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