Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
