Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
