wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
