I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
