are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
