Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
