she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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