i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
