She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
