She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize